Thursday, July 14, 2011

The way things are

I am currently in Wegbe, loving on my kids here before I depart for the US in a week and a half. Its crazy to think that in less than two weeks I will be back on American soil and honestly is not something I am prepared for. In the back of my mind, I am hoping some miracle will come about and even though I am no longer looking for a job here, I will receive an offer that is impossible to turn down. Can you tell I am not ready to leave yet? I know it’s the right thing to do. I honestly in the back of my mind know that but still, I cannot imagine leaving. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I wasn’t supposed to be going back home so soon. I wasn’t supposed to go back to having a long distance relationship with Alex yet or a long distance relationship with all my friends here yet. It was supposed to work out. Or maybe it wasn’t. I am trying to see the positive in this. I am trying to understand. Trying to make the best of the situation.
This week has been so amazing thus far. Its nice to be able to stay in Wegbe for a decent amount of time and return to life here. Its like I never left. And its like I never want to leave again. But I know I have to. I know I will be back. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I need to come back, I need to continue to watch my kids grow. Its amazing how much they have grown since the last time I was here. And I can’t even imagine how much they will grow while I am back in the US.
I just keep telling myself I need to leave. It’s the right thing to do. Maybe it will actually all sink in eventually. Or maybe not. Its okay, it won’t be the first time I cry as I leave. But for now, I will make the most of every moment and enjoy being here while trying not to think about the painful good byes.

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